:: A Personal Hell ::

:: Thursday, February 21, 2002 ::

Withering

Why do I feel this way?
Like I will never be someone
Being used and tore apart
I need a razor
To cut out the things I hate
Need something to stop my heart

I want the end, to make you feel this pain
All the parts of me I discard I give to you
All this pain
Needing to die so bad…..You haven’t a clue

I FEEL SO ALONE
PLEASE LOVE ME
I FEEL SO SICK
LEAVE ME ALONE
I FEEL SO DISGUSTED
GO AWAY!!!!!!!
BUT KEEP ME IN YOUR HEART

I FEEL SO ALONE
PLEASE LOVE ME
I FEEL SO SICK
LEAVE ME ALONE
I FEEL SI DISGUSTED
GO AWAY!!!!!!!
BUT FUCK YOUR HEART

Drinking to keep my grasp on this world
The false feeling I always wanted
Come to me. Make it all alright
I need your soul
To make mine seem whole
Kill it all tonight

You freak whore I never trusted you
Just a fuckin trick
Rip me apart. With your little lies
My hate makes me shake apart
Enraged with love
Suicidal thoughts magnify


I FEEL SO ALONE
PLEASE LOVE ME
I FEEL SO SICK
LEAVE ME ALONE
I FEEL SO DISGUSTED
GO AWAY!!!!!!!
BUT KEEP ME IN YOUR HEART


I FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!I HATE YOU!!!
PLEASE LOVE ME!!!!FOR THE FIRST FUCKING TIME!!
I FEEL SO SICK!!!!!!!THIS HELL I FEEL!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!BUT TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!!!
I FEEL SO DISGUSTED!!!!!!!!!!LETTING MYSELF BE RAN THROUGH!!!!!!
GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!TO THE HELL I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT KEEP ME IN YOUR HEART!!!!!!!LIKE THE KNIFE IN MY BACK!!!!!!!!!!





:: WishKiller 12:16 AM [+] ::
...

Delusions

Is this all a dream?
Time fading
You walk towards the darkness
The unseen

You feel immortal as you tread the way
Looking around like this is all yours
Seeing the open world before you
The filth .....The whores

As you walk ever farther
You realize this ain't real
You Scream....no one hears you
You can't get noticed,Can't....... feel

Looking on you see your self
Stepping off the sidewalk
Here comes a car
At the last second you feel the asphalt

You run over thinking it's someone else
Try to check for a pulse,your hand goes right through
Full of terror,seeing yourself die
Running like a mad man,,i can see you

You lived life.....took it for granted
Your friends and family meant nothing to you
Wasted it all away,, Ended up with nothing
Well you are scared not to live
But you can't die

So you go to check on your little daughter
You see her near a window,about to fall
Running to save her,Scared all to hell
You miss,she falls, she barely learned to walk
Bouncing......like a ball

You can't save her now
You never ever were there
People scatter to the scene
Staring at her blood matted hair

Feeling like something is crawling inside
Losing sanity,Growing twisted and psychotic
Trying to kill everyone in sight
Like you are not even there, an illusion
Forever locked

You lived life.......Took it for granted
Your family and friends meant nothing to you
Wasted it all away....Ended up with nothing
Well you are scared not to live...But can't die.....

Every thing goes black,Times seems to stop
Your heart pounds
feeling like you are about to die
Choking on your own tongue
In so much pain,you start to cry

All of a sudden you feel relived
Looking at the ceiling.Over at a few beds
You are tied down,wearing nothing but white
You hear a voice......(oh you are awake..good..time for your meds)

...................As you look away.............................THE DOOR READS ,,BLACK HILL,, HOME FOR THE MENTALLY INSANE,,POPULATION 666......The conclusion.......Nothing......Your delusion........................
Welcome to the rest of your life..HAHAHA


:: WishKiller 9:59 PM [+] ::
...

The Killer Beside You


Do what you want....
Hear what you want....
Say what you want.....
See what you want....

But steer clear of me little one
I'm the one you need to run from
I'm the killer attached to your heels
I'm like a overdose
Swallow my little black pills


When you get tucked in at night
close your ears and eyes
The sound you hear is
Only your mommy being fucked
.......By me tonight......

I will be here in your dreams
I'll tear down the little smiley face clouds
And i will get them to bite you
They have big teeth you know??
.............................Better wake up before you turn blue.................

As you finally drift off to sleep once more
Your hand drops to the side of the bed
You feel a little (Squish)
Its just mommy's head
Dead little whore......

----------------------------------------------------------------------

When you finally grow up
You are a sick twisted fuck

Kickin animals
Beating kids
Mean sick motherfucker
Just always being twisted

You owe your life to me
If it wasn't for me you would be a pussy...(you piece of shit)
Mommys little boy!?!?!? You were before you ate her eyes
The nightmares really worked.After i got between her thighs


Now you terrorize kids....but why??
You put your mother in hell
You are a loser.....Forever i might add
But i took the childhood you had.....And turned you mad

Why are you the asshole nobody likes??
Oh thats right its my fault,,,,,pathetic fuck
Letting someone else change your life
Now your mother is in a grave...Cause little boy swung his knife

Now as you await the (chair)
I am in your mind.....your hair
You walk down the long hall.you cry.....You pussy
You think this torment will end??.....I trip you and you fall

Well as they strap you in..You fight your last fight
Cold steel against your head and leg
As you scream and beg.....You look to your side
I will throw the switch......in hell you can't hide.........(from me)

You leave this world in pain
Just like you put your loved ones through
As you sit your ass on the hot stones
I'M RIGHT BESIDE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!







:: WishKiller 11:47 PM [+] ::
...

Homies

Sick attitude
Cocky little man
Call yourself a player
Well i never gave a goddamn
Time for the pain
Killing you ass is my plan....

Get your boyz to back ya up
What ya gonna do??
.44 at ya head!!!
What they gonna do??
Scared to die??
Why???
You are not even alive!!!

Your 40's and weed
Lil slut by your side
Stand Up!!....Walk Up!!!...PUT UP!!!....SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
You gonna die!!!
With your eyes open wide


Big fuckin man
My back turned
Chain in your hand
Egomaniacal little fuck!!!!!!!
ARE YOU THE MAN?!?!?

You didn't kill me
BIG mistake
Blind sided me.......So now your'e proud??
Knot on my head....Slug in my Gut
BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER now you're fucked

Dark ass alley
Or Bright Fuckin light
Vengeance is coming
TRY TO HIDE


YOU ARE NOT SURVIVING THE FUCKIN NIGHT!!!!!!!






:: WishKiller 11:31 PM [+] ::
...

Darkest Day

Time has passed
Again and Again
And life ended
As fast as it began
In this world acidic and black
Surviving here
Is surviving in hell

Survival of the fittest?? Or survival of the damned?
Are you like me?
Or the rest of the world??
Will you give in to the Pain??
Or will you feed off the negativity??
And deny your lord?


Invocation of the storms....Channeling of the night
Resisting is getting you nowhere
Will you survive the night??

Standing in the storm
Rain hitting your face
Giving in to the night
As you give in to this world.......you DISGRACE
Constant danger in living day to day
You cry and beg to be taken away.....

Well your time has come
And you just gave in
True, the world was harsh
And fed on sin
I will take over
Where you left off
I will beat the odds
It's time for my time to begin






:: WishKiller 11:02 PM [+] ::
...

-----That Which Survives-----

All this time i was alone
And time passed by
It seemed like years
I kept asking why
Family and friends,all went away
I wish this could be my final day

I ask why?? This pain i feel
The wounds i have......Time can never heal
Who am i?
What is this??
This fucking life?
All it was ...is this!!!

I set here looking at the past
Can't hold it in
Can't let it out
Can't live
Can't die
I ask you please end this pain

Undying eternal pain
Living day to day in this
No one will ever know what i hold inside
I don't want to ever have to hide

Time has finally come
For i will die,By my own hand
Not the hand of (GOD)
REALIZE i am NOT a coward


This life is mine
Now i will just say ....goodbye






:: WishKiller 10:44 PM [+] ::
...

Heap

United we stand
Divided we fall
Shattered unity
We stand conquered by the night
Through the wastes i crawl

It is your destroyer
The vengeful end
Its time to find inner peace
Meet thy maker motherfucker
Damnation has begun

Guess what!?!.......Time to DIE!!
Stand there screaming
As the demon rakes your thigh
Begging for forgiveness,the real you shines through
Nothing but a fuckin coward,You never had a clue

Looking for a place to hide,A god to pray to
............You hear you're reply......
STAND STRONG MY SON.......TIME TO DIE
Judgment has passed
Soul on fire And blood boiling
You're god was a LIE

The bowels of the void open wide
In utter agony you start to cry
Your time is over and the void gives birth
This is not hell..........Welcome to earth!!!!!!!

:: WishKiller 10:27 PM [+] ::
...

Teratoma

Fuck the government.And their little toy soldiers
Fuck the cops,With their conformist Views
Just fuckin nazis pushing Their shit
Go away and ......................DIE!!!!!!

I am there to hurt
I am the whipping boy
I am here to see you burn
The FREAK you wish to destroy

You build us up. As you tear us down
You keep the light burning.To immolate us
I am the Still born you just throw away
I will haunt you. So long as you see the light of day

Why is it you ignore the Unclean
You kill the helpless
A frail life in a womb
Making a small garbage bag a tomb??

What do i get for being me
A life not worthy of a rat
I will burn you like the holocaust
and make you feel (me)

WHY?!?!?!?.............................Is this going on
WHY!?!?!?.....................Don't this stop
WHY!?!?! ......................This hellish abortion
WHY?!?!? ..........Am i haunted by your victims

look at me
Then you look away
I am imperfect
I am the one with the gun

Someone will see through you
Someone will see your lifeless soul
Tearing out of you like a bullet
Deforming you like a mutant
Is my final goal

NOT PERFECT NOW???
HOW DOES IF FEEL??
TWISTED AND CONTORTED
BONES LIKE TWISTED STEEL

WHY!?!?!.................Are the weak killed
WHY!?!?...........This is not real
WHY!?!?!.................Is that gun in your mouth...
WHY !?!?!..............Don't it fire

I am the one you will see
As you crawl........to the end
I watch you as you cry
You fall into a coma


...............YOUR TERATOMA................





:: WishKiller 12:02 AM [+] ::
...

Phobia

Why are you always scared??
I would love to know
What will it take to get you to go away??
The Boogie man....With eyes that glow??

Fuck cowards
Kill em off
Run em through
Hang em up
Beat them down
Till they turn blue

Bottom of the food chain?
Top of the pile?
LOOK me in the eye
I didn't know shit could be piled that high....

Dogs ........Cats
Snakes ......Spiders....get on the ladder
Go a little Higher

Guns or knives??
Mirror glass
The dark or death
The little elves that bite your ASS??

Scared shitless
You are not worth shit
Fear is pointless
Lets see what you get............................






:: WishKiller 11:38 PM [+] ::
...

I love you to {DEATH}

I know you.
You know i do.
I regret you exist.
You loath the fact i do.

Sick little bitch you think the world owes you??
Why.......for a fucked up little life...
The way you were treated???LOOK AT ME!!!!!
All the time you were fucking around
I was cleaning your mess

My soul is burning...you never even cared
My bones breaking under the weight of your lies
My life shattered...You wash your hands of me
Your love i always wanted.....Now you will die....

Can't breathe???i'll cut your fucking throat
Can't see??I'll blind you
Oh you Can't hear either??I'll Bust your ribs
So you wish you were dead??
Not Yet

I see tears Fall from your bleeding eyes
I stroke your hair and tell you it will be ok
I gaze upon your face and think of Violence
I hear your voice.....and dream of silence

Lay back my love
I'll show you a better world
I wipe the blood from your Newly scarred face
And look upon you With total disgrace
I will Break you ...I am who made you

I wan't to embrace you... But you can't with Broken Arms
Crawl to me, little one
Your back opened up with brutal force
Let me show you love
Let death run its course

I need you.......BLEED for me!!!
I want you...CRY for me!!!
I eviscerate you..I crush your beautiful face!!
I violate you...SCREAM my name!!

Please open your eyes ...though you can't see
Open your Arms.....Embrace me
Open your heart ....let me in
And open your broken legs......Pleasure me....

Your screaming stops
Your pulse slows
Yous moisture leaves you
I spit in your face

I'm glad we had this time together
It makes me feel good
Your time is up......
Now that i have loved you to.........DEATH!!!





:: WishKiller 10:13 PM [+] ::
...

Apocalyptic Angel

The moon slowly rises,Shadows swiftly fall
Night eternal is here,The fallen angel soars
The Blackest of wings Eclipses the heavens
The sky starts to crumble,As Stars turns to cinder
Clouds turn to stone,And fall from the sky
Apocalypse smiles at his new domain
Mountains blackened with your sin becomes his throne
Oceans turn to blood you all have spilled,on which he feasts
Your weapons,his scepter in which he wields like an axe
Your souls he devours,your religion he desecrates,like you've done in the past
Your world now his kingdom, in which he will now and ever RULES
The only thing you now possess is your undying torment......................................

JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED YOURSELF!!!!!!!

Don't blame fate,it was not the fault of this earth
Don't blame GOD because you don't know thee
Don't blame you blame your kin.they are part of you
It is your fault.I helped.But don't blame me

Its the last day of the end of your life
But you don't notice
You go on as you have (forever)
Throwing your life away
As you drift towards (never)

As you wake you take for granted the life you briefly hold
You shake off the morning dew,clothe yourself in garments unclean
Time as you know it useless as mold......
You leave your home...For the final time
You lock your door to protect your needless things
Not turning your back....You enter streets of crime

As you go towards your destination you think of shit
Useless fucking filth
The future you will NEVER forget
Depending on machines accumulating your sloth....
When you get to your place of desire
You again turn your back(walking blindly towards the ultimate fire)

The end is near,Your time will shortly come
All you strive to desire
Dies tonight
All will be undone

COWARDS YOU ALL
CAUSING MASS DESOLATION
UNITED YOU STAND????
ONE ALONE IS THE DEATH OF A NATION

IT IS GETTING CLOSER
THE STOPPING OF YOUR HEART
THE POISONING OF THIS WORLD
YOUR SOUL DRIFTS APART

That's the end of this story
The closing of the final chapter
You're being smoldering and rotten
Bow to your Insidious master...

YOU DID THIS TO YOUR SELVES NOW SHED YOUR FINAL TEARS
IT WAS ONLY A DREAM..........PATHETIC FUCKING FOOL........



:: WishKiller 8:19 PM [+] ::
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